I wanted to shovel the earth with my head
An earthworms’ deepest instinct to burrow down down down
Snakes slithered over under my torso limbs and neck
I felt surrender, release, ready to sink back to the earth
I saw the lines in my friends’ faces and mine
The gravitational pull back to the earth
Our too short stint of aliveness
Amidst our eternal residence in the dirt
I wanted to squeeze my friends as tight as I could
Step back just an inch, hold them by the shoulders
Really look into each other
I wanted to to kiss my father on the head
I wanted to hold my mom as a little girl, to tell her she was perfect
And I wanted to do the same for myself
I caught a glimpse of my ex’s face, the size of the forest